Fear of the Unknown

I am scared of little in this life, as I know ultimately, that I shall fear no evil. However, when I mention the word "fear" especially in the title of my posting, just know that I am shaking in my boots.

So in previous posts, I said I had this "Lifebetter List for 2K10"...what kind of idiot starts a decade by going back to school at age 28(with three kids, PT Job, various social committments and so on...). This idiot, that's who!

We are finishing our basement, as funds allow. And as the work has progressed, I have been able to dream about what kind of decorations, colors, etc, I want to have. By doing this, I realized that there aren't many things that excite me the way design does. Whether that be on stage or in the basement! I am glad to have finally realized this after all this time wondering what should I (someday) major in?

So back in November, I looked into Interior Design schools--not to leave my current job because I wouldn't(love, love, love it too much), but to "finally" finish school. So I called ARCC and made an appointment to meet with the counselor there. I felt that after meeting, I would know how many classes I needed to finish my 2-year degree. (After looking into 4 year design schools and coming to the realization that said schools wanted $40K per year for tuition, I felt it would be more economically friendly to finish my 2 year and then transfer.)

So as I sat down across from the counselor she looks in the computer and realizes my file is too "old" to be in there. She determines that she needs to go back to the filing area and grab it manually. When she gets down the hall, and finds a co-worker shredding items, she says, "that's the color file I need. I am looking for Melissa Maas". Her coworker responds, "In the nick of time! I was shredding that one next!"

When the counselor reports back to me, I think to myself, "huh, must be a God thing?". I cannot explain it any other way! Also, I just happened to make the appointment 2 days before they opened registration. This was not some genius plotting on my half. It was totally a God thing.

So as I sit in her office going over my file, I come to the realization that I am only 5 classes away from my 2 year degree. Could I do this in one semester? Sure, if I was 10 years younger, 15 pounds thinner and minus 3 kids. So I have registered for 2 online classes--Children's Literature and Sociology. The rest can be done over the summer or in the fall.

I start on Monday.

I am in panic mode. What the heck was I thinking?

The panic mode actually set in about 7 minutes ago when I opened my email inbox to recognize that the intructor(who is likely my age) sent a satan inspired syllabus which highlights all of my potential shortcomings for the next 5 months.

Rules and regulations are the death of me. I live to break the rules. This instructor has zero tolerance for late anything...i.e. if it is late don't bother--you get zero points! I have no issue with tardiness or getting behind on work, but when set as a rule, I feel like I need to break it just to prove a point(can you see why I never joined the military??).

Now when I say that I live to break the rules--I don't do this in a mischievious/naughty way, but I definately try to find ways to do things "my" way.

Ahhh crap! 4 more days of "freedom" and then I live and die by a new set of rules.

Cheer me on as I start this new chapter--one can only hope it is rewarding as "The Shred". Perhaps this schooling will do for my need to break the rules, as the Shred did for my abs??