What did I miss along the way?

When I had Logan, I was in severe survival mode. This was 5 years ago! Allen was suffering from an injury caused at work, and we were fighting Workman's Compensation to get a regular paycheck. I was working several jobs to try to make ends meet. It was stressful. Add to that a baby that literally never stopped crying, and I look back and wonder why we ended up having two more. I figured, it could never get any worse than that! (Did he cry because it was stressful or was it stressful because he cried--it was cyclical and brought me to the brink of insanity more than once. I remember calling my mom and saying if I don't walk outside right now, I am going to be on the 10 o'clock news!)

Having Kjirsten made life more stressful because I was now outnumbered as a stay-at-home-mom and bringing two with me instead of one took some getting used to! She was ever curious(and still is) getting into the dog dish and anything at her level. Recently, her "projects" have included spray glue, dumping out a gallon jug of laundry soap, putting dirty clothes in with the clean ones in the dryer and turning on, dumping out an entire bottle of Victoria's Secret lotion on our bedframe, and squeezing a brand new tube of toothpaste into the toilet!

When I found out I was pregnant with Silas, it was a complete surprise. I had mixed feelings. Like anger, frustration, and then finally joy! It took a few weeks to get used to that idea that I would be even more outnumbered. I prayed around the clock that it would be a boy. I wasn't sure I could handle another girl. God knows what we can handle, doesn't he ;) ? Then I began to have some health complications and my midwife said it probably wasn't a great idea to become pregnant again after giving birth to Silas. Would I have had anymore babies?--people always ask. Not sure if I would have, but I know when it is decided for you it is much more difficult to get used to the idea.

I do know that I have taken the time to rock this baby. I pushed my older two--wanting them to crawl and walk and eat solid foods! I can see where older siblings think the baby gets "babied"--you're darn right he does. He is the last baby. If he drinks a bottle until he is 6--it's ok(well that may be a slight exaggeration). Solid foods? For the birds! Walk--heaven's no--you don't even need to crawl--Mama will carry you everywhere you go. Even if you weigh 60 pounds.

Tonight, I leaned Silas in the corner of the couch. Sitting next to him and the other kiddos, to watch a little Phineas and Ferb, I noticed that he leaned forward into a sitting position, and sat there smiling and cooing. Darn it! My every attempt at keeping him a baby has failed...he is on his way to all those things I would typically cheer on and brag about. Crawling, walking, playing with toys, and Cheerios, here we come!

Logan crawled at 4 months and walked at 9. Kjirsten wasn't far behind. Normally, that is something I would share with every mommy in a 25 mile radius. Now when people ask if Silas is rolling around or mobile, I grin and say nope--and that's ok with me!