Faith Stretch

My faith has been stretched to places I never knew it could go these past few weeks--such a good thing. I have logged more hours praying boldy than ever before. I have prayed in the car, in the checkout line, at the bank, at work(yes, I was still getting the job done, but there is a certain part of your mind that can drift off to talk with God), while changing the baby, taking a shower, shoveling snow, and I could go on and on and on!

The funny thing--I was not praying for anything involving myself or my own kids. For those of you following my Facebook posts, you probably know that my cousin, Michelle, (who is like my sister) found out a few months back, that their unborn baby had a great chance of being born with Downs Syndrome. Couple that with severe health complications Mom was experiencing, and you get for one super worried family.

Michelle gave birth to Neriyah Scott King, on Sunday December 6th @ 6:21pm. A tiny angel, literally, she weighed in at 3lbs, 15 oz. and just 17 inches long! She was 33 weeks, and it came to be that both Mom and baby would be better if she made her grand entrance into the earthly environment.

Michelle and her husband, Jeremey, did amazing due dilligence in prepping for this event, from gathering a team of fancy doctors to blogging to keep us all informed. Praise the Lord they were informed "consumers" because I don't know what the outcome of this situation would be if she had delivered Neriyah anywhere else!

I am an outsider looking in, essentially--I mean I get to read the blog, and I get phone updates, but you see, Michelle is in California, so any personal contact gets saved for our visits a few times a year. I would have thought through this situation that I would have been able to get those updates and move on with life. But through these past few weeks, I have found my world at a standstill at times. I found myself bargaining--as if I was grieving a loss. God, if you can do this one thing for me, I can ___________.

I have "survivor's guilt--wondering why my kids had no health issues, while Michelle, struggled and fought, seemingly "tooth and nail" to keep Neriyah in her womb until Doctors deemed her more safe on the outside. I had some liver issues with my last 2 pregnancies, but nothing even remotely this complicated--actually I feel stupid even mentioning it. It seems trivial.

I lost sleep over this. Waking to think of how they were doing--if the baby would be ok. Would she come out screaming(like she did!!)? or would there be complications that none of us would understand? (I am writing selfishly, as yes, I lost sleep, but how were Michelle and Jeremey doing in those weeks??)

And with those thoughts, I would chastise myself for not leaving all those answers up to God. I am a black and white person (per Myers-Briggs Personality Assessment, I am an ESTJ) a processor, logical, exhibiting matter-of-factness(probably not a word) and common sense. It is very difficult for me not to go through every detail of every possibility. All of the could be's, maybe's, have nots, and would be's.

With this, I was disappointed in myself frequently. But I was soon better for it. God has stretched my faith to immeasurable places--beyond my wildest imagination!

He has delivered the answers to so many prayers that we have all fallen to our knees in awe!
Neriyah was given a 99% chance of having Down Syndrome when she broke into this world crying(I would too, if someone drained my hottub!), that 1% left God enough room to work.

The results are in: Neriyah does NOT have any form of Down Syndrome.

This brought me to tears.

All of the weeks of waiting, the sleepless nights for Michelle and Jeremey, the tears spilled...were not in vain. We prayed boldly and those prayers were divinely responded to.

God has stretched me in ways I could not have understood without this situation, and while I am not thankful for the situation, I am grateful for how my Father used it to guide my steps in my walk with Him.

What an amazing God! and I cannot forget the 2 miracles that brought me to this place...with Love to "My Soul Sister" and her sweet angel baby!